The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)

(From left to right) Woody Allen, David Ogden Stiers
and Helen Hunt in "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion."

Now seems like the perfect time to revisit writer/director Woody Allen’s “The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.” This year marks the 15th anniversary of the picture’s 2001 release, and it’s currently available to stream over the Netflix platform. More interestingly, the film has gained a somewhat dubious reputation in large part because Allen himself has labeled it as ‘perhaps his worst movie,’ making it certainly worthy of another look.

The film takes place in 1940 and features Allen as C.W. Briggs, a longtime insurance investigator whose messy workspace at his sprawling New York office is overhauled, much to his displeasure, by a new hotshot efficiency expert, Betty Ann Fitzgerald (a splendidly acerbic and funny Helen Hunt), whose modern way of doing things conflicts with his antiquated methods.

The two characters immediately loathe one another, and conversations are highlighted by a heavy dose of sarcastic quips and barbs leveled back and forth like tennis volleys. “Who do you think I am,” Fitzgerald exclaims during their first meeting, “some peroxide little stenographer with her brains in her sweater whose rear end you pinch?”

“Pinch it? I couldn’t get my arms around it,” Briggs fires back, Groucho Marx-style. For her part, she peppers him with a barrage of insults (roach, inchworm, mouse, weasel) demeaning his smallish stature throughout.

The plot twists begin at an employee dinner, where Briggs and Fitzgerald are summoned to the stage by a bizarre magician (David Ogden Stiers) who waves a tiny scorpion pendant in front of their faces and uses a pair of code words (Constantinople and Madagascar) to plunge them into deep hypnosis. Later, the tricky swindler puts Briggs into a trance over the phone, this time using him as a proxy to prowl around town like a zombie plundering expensive jewels.

When the insurance company is forced to examine the case, the clues point back to Briggs. Flummoxed, Briggs finds himself on the run for robberies he committed but has no memory of, with Fitzgerald eventually becoming an unwitting accomplice after hearing the magic word.

Charlize Theron in Woody Allen's funny, underrated
screwball comedy "The Curse of the Jade Scorpion."

“Curse of the Jade Scorpion” is a charming, breezy and consistently funny screwball comedy and a playful valentine to film noir. At one point, when acting on a hunch, Briggs credits “the little man that lives inside me,” a line that seems inspired by Edward G. Robinson’s memorable turn as an insurance man who uncovers Fred MacMurray and femme fatale Barbara Stanwyck’s twisted scheme of romance and murder in Billy Wilder’s masterful crime drama “Double Indemnity” (1944).

Allen has said that he believes casting himself as the lead in “Curse” was a mistake, but nothing could be further from the truth. Consider a moment early on, when Briggs is in the midst of an argument with Fitzgerald, demanding that she return some files to his office. “Or what?” she commands.

“Or what?” he asks, awkwardly. “This is the question you…ask me? Or…or what? … Or what? Are you…saying ‘or what’ to me?” The intimidated, halting way that Allen recites these lines— all nervous gestures, turning his head off screen and pausing as if searching for stingers—is ingeniously nuanced and subtly hilarious. Anyone familiar with Woody Allen knows there’s no one else in movies who could act quite this way. It’s one of his funniest performances.

The film isn’t flawless. Dan Aykroyd is interminably dull as the cheating boss whose fling with Fitzgerald fizzles, opening the door for her and Briggs to become an unlikely couple; and Charlize Theron is underused as a slinky, smoky blonde who prefers seducing athletic types but gets Briggs instead.

Still, it’s not nearly enough to compromise this consistently fun and entertaining romp. “My instincts aren’t infallible,” Briggs says near the end. If Allen’s instincts are right about “The Curse of the Jade Scorpion” being his worst movie, it clearly means it’s ok to be wrong sometimes.